This kale smoothie is IN YOUR FACE.
Clearly, this isn’t really made of boogers and slime. It’s made of kale, bananas, cashews and dates mostly. But whenever people talk about green drinks, they always try to avoid the fact that no matter how delicious they are, they look disgusting. Well, NO MORE.
Tess of Healthy Blender Recipes (who came up with this incredible recipe) calls it a Raw, Vegan Creamy “Pistachio Ice Cream” Kale Shake. But with the idea of leaning in to the grossness of the color, I decided to call my very slight adaptation of her recipe, The Booger-Green, Slime, Kale Smoothie.
It think my version sounds much more appetizing.
Make it for your children who love to be grossed out. Don’t tell them until they’re 15 that their favorite booger smoothie was actually incredibly healthy and made of kale.
Make it for yourself when you have kale to use up and just cannot make yourself eat one more stir fry. That’s what I’m doing tonight. In fact, these days, the only way I eat kale regularly is by drinking it.
By the way, if you want to see something truly ridiculous, watch the episode to the very end. And then watch THIS. You will not be disappointed.
- ½ cup filtered water
- ½ cup raw cashews (soak them if you want, I didn’t)
- pinch celtic sea salt
- ⅓ heaping cup of pitted dates (I used 5)
- 1 inch peeled fresh ginger
- 2 frozen bananas
- 1 cup or 3 leaves of curly kale
- 1 cup of ice
- Put it all in the blender (I use a vitamix)
Filed in: Beverages