Booger-Green, Slime, Kale Smoothie (Raw, Vegan)

November 5, 2013
pin it button Booger Green, Slime, Kale Smoothie (Raw, Vegan)

This kale smoothie is IN YOUR FACE.

Kale Smoothie ready to blend 1024x576 Booger Green, Slime, Kale Smoothie (Raw, Vegan)

Clearly, this isn’t really made of boogers and slime. It’s made of kale, bananas, cashews and dates mostly. But whenever people talk about green drinks, they always try to avoid the fact that no matter how delicious they are, they look disgusting. Well, NO MORE.

Tess of Healthy Blender Recipes (who came up with this incredible recipe) calls it a Raw, Vegan Creamy “Pistachio Ice Cream” Kale Shake. But with the idea of leaning in to the grossness of the color, I decided to call my very slight adaptation of her recipe, The Booger-Green, Slime, Kale Smoothie.

It think my version sounds much more appetizing. icon wink Booger Green, Slime, Kale Smoothie (Raw, Vegan)

Make it for your children who love to be grossed out. Don’t tell them until they’re 15 that their favorite booger smoothie was actually incredibly healthy and made of kale.

Make it for yourself when you have kale to use up and just cannot make yourself eat one more stir fry. That’s what I’m doing tonight. In fact, these days, the only way I eat kale regularly is by drinking it.

Kale Smoothie pour 1024x576 Booger Green, Slime, Kale Smoothie (Raw, Vegan)

All the different ways to drink kale 1024x520 Booger Green, Slime, Kale Smoothie (Raw, Vegan)

By the way, if you want to see something truly ridiculous, watch the episode to the very end. And then watch THIS. You will not be disappointed.

4.0 from 1 reviews
Booger-Green, Slime, Kale Smoothie (Raw, Vegan)
smoothie
Cuisine: healthy/delicious fuision
 
No boogers were used in the making of this recipe.
Ingredients
  • ½ cup filtered water
  • ½ cup raw cashews (soak them if you want, I didn't)
  • pinch celtic sea salt
  • ⅓ heaping cup of pitted dates (I used 5)
  • 1 inch peeled fresh ginger
  • 2 frozen bananas
  • 1 cup or 3 leaves of curly kale
  • 1 cup of ice
Instructions
  1. Put it all in the blender (I use a vitamix)
  2. blend
  3. DRINK

 LOVElillian

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About the Author ()

I embark on on-camera, healthy food adventures while I make other people's recipes (Sometimes vegan. Sometimes raw. Mostly paleo. Always gluten, grain, dairy, refined sugar, soy, and corn free) for the very first time on camera. I also do a daily gratiTUDE series in which I write about something I am grateful for everyday because the secret to happiness is realizing that the good stuff is already all around us. Let's have a good time, shall we?

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  1. Play With Your Food : Lillian's Test Kitchen | November 5, 2013
  1. jenn in GA says:

    love me some kale smoothie! try breaking up your bananas before you freeze them, and by all means add more kale! you could’ve probably added half again what the recipe calls for and still not tasted it. here’s the smoothie i have daily (in my Vitamix too–they are so awesome!):

    2-3 C. spinach
    1 C. almond milk (vanilla unsweetened)
    3-5 dates
    1/2 frozen banana, broken in half
    2 T. almonds
    2 T. cocoa powder (the 4th and 5th date are if you find the cocoa to make the drink less sweet than you’d like)

    blend the heck out of it! so so so so good! i also add 1 T. of protein powder from time to time.

    • lillianmedville says:

      Wow. Thanks for the cocoa spinach recipe! I’ll have to try it as soon as I have some good spinach!

  2. I always thought slime looked cold when people were doused on Nickelodeon! Nice work!

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